That's the sound of Amanda and me falling off the wagon. And what a fall it was. We each ate somewhere around 3-5 times our targeted caloric intake...as Amanda put it, we OBLITERATED our diet. My lazy, gluttonous self took over my new healthy, rational self. Last night we shared an extra large Brooklyn style pepperoni pizza, an order of cheesy bread and a pint of cinnamon dulce de leche ice cream. I am pretty embarrassed about it and it certainly didn't leave me feeling fulfilled. Not only emotionally have I felt like trash about it, but physically I have felt LOUSY. Intestinal cramps followed by a wave of nausea rudely woke me up in the middle of the night. I have felt sluggish, feverish, and sick to my stomach all day. I can't believe this is how we fueled our bodies every day before. We made ourselves calculate the total this morning and the most sobering thing was that with the rest of the day being healthy we still ate 3-5 times our needed calories. Amanda pointed out to me that with two other fatty meals plus soda we were easily consuming more than 10,000 calories on an average day of eating the way we did before. That was devastating to me. How could I ever let things get that far? Don't I value this life more than food? I find my former self disgusting, embarrassing, and revolting. I promised Amanda and myself that I wouldn't wallow in disappointment and self pity, so I am picking myself up and strapping myself firmly to the wagon. My life can and will change. I can do this!